Jacquelyn’s Tuesday Thought…Whatever process God has set out before you, you must complete the task at hand…Life is not going to be easy and neither is walking in one’s faith…There will come times when you have to just step out, be still and know that God is God, He will do what He said He will do and cannot fail…It is easy when trials come to wonder when will my time come, can I least see the light at the end of the tunnel…It is harder when you know God is going to work it out, because at that point you realize you MUST endure…You cannot stop, you must run your race to completion…Sometimes God takes you through things so your midnight will become your twilight…In the midst of it all there is a blessing…When you are going through know that God has a hold on you and He is what is keeping your spirit…The devil will come and that is what he is supposed to do…But you can stand strong and say God got and you have NO power in my life…Do not let the devil stop you from seeing your rainbow after your storm…We get it twisted, we like to see the rainbow – but do not acknowledge some things had to happen to get it there…They do not just pop up all random…No matter what comes your way remember power belongs to God…And in the words of the infamous Walker, Texas Ranger – “If you see a man with no scars, he has never had to fight for anything.” Be Great and know your battle is already won!!!!
Keep your apology, especially when you do not plan to change;
When the color of my skin causes you to place blame.
Keep that apology, your feelings of guilt do not move me;
When after a war, and changes to the constitution you STILL do not see me as free.
Keep your apology, when you KNOW you are wrong,
Especially pontificating about the national anthem not truly being a racist song.
Keep your apology, when you know you are not sincere,
Primarily when you continue as soon as the coast is clear.
Keep your apology, as guilt is a wasted emotion,
Since seeing me as equal was NEVER a notion.
Keep your apology, you meant exactly what you did – acting with purpose,
Then have the audacity to be upset because our dealings are acrimonious.
Keep your apology, empty words change nothing,
When you change your behavior, then we are working with something.
Keep your apology, if it is not from the heart,
Your fabrications and fallacies are what truly keep us apart.
Keep your apology, I truly am not moved,
Especially if you are one step away from parading in a hood.
Keep your apology, my spirit cannot process the lie,
Especially when you have NO PROBLEM WATCHING US DIE.
Keep your apology, you do not understand what it takes for me to simply exist,
All of this from a system only you can fix.
Keep your apology, if at home you are still calling me nigger,
You will never see the bigger picture.
Keep your apology, and stop bringing up Christ,
When it came to us , He laid down His life.
Keep your apology, you cannot be a Christian,
When causing division has always been your mission.
Keep your apology, I have had enough,
Just existing should never be so horribly tough.
Keep your apology, if you are looking at others as less than,
When at the end of the day we are all still man.
Keep your apology, I am done shedding tears;
Perhaps a therapist can assist with your irrational fears.
Keep your damn apology, when you continue to cause pain,
All the flowery words mean nothing when there is no plan to change.
Written by: Jacquelyn L. Alexander
As we go through this thing called life, there are moments where you feel as if no matter what you do, it seems you can never move forward. When you look at some people you have helped along the way have more than surpassed you. Some not even acknowledging your existence – making it seem as if your purpose is to help others while you struggle. You have followed directions, but it still does not work. You begin to feel that no matter what, you just cannot win. You have moments where you just want to give up and whatever happens will happen. You feel like no one understands. They make it wore because they make it seem as if you are not even trying. Unsolicited advice bothers you down to your viscera. When people who are supposed to be your family in turn tell you that you write too much and they do not understand you. When those you consider family are questioning your method of coping; it cuts deeply. Then when you do not engage they act like it is World War 4 ½. When it seems as the people who are supposed to be your support system are creating tumbling blocks every time you look around. It creates a hurt that you cannot explain. As much as I love my family, I have to admit, they trigger me at times like nobody’s business. When you look to your friends for support and all you get is where is your faith. What you do not want is sympathy. All you want is just a little empathy. I do not want nor do I desire pity. When your family has began to treat you as a burden – so you began to isolate yourself from people who are trying to let you know they are there. When you feel all hope is gone and you are ready to just completely let go. When you accept that your healing or being made whole may actually come from you passing on. As you may be finally made whole by going to be with God. When you want to be through because mentally you have done all you can do. When people completely disregard how you are feeling and either want or want you to do something. The people you are always there for are too busy. When no scripture or church service seems to help. Then you have those that think because you are ill or in the midst of a trial, they can speak and deal with you any type of way. When people think you are weak, yet your mind is still strong. When you do not bother to tell people what is wrong because you are now questioning everyone’s intention towards you. You try extra hard to appear ‘normal’, and sometimes even that does not work. When you go through a life changing event and no one seems to get it or wants to even try. When they expect you to just bounce back and that is no longer the case (or possible). When all the people who were initially there when everything initially happened are no longer there as you continue to go through. People who you just knew cared about you are nowhere to be found. When you learn who your friends are. (Trust it is not always who you expect). Going through an extensive trial will separate the wheat from the chaff. When your façade of everything is fine starts to wear off. Therefore, the cracks are now starting to show. When you can no longer just go through the motions. When you are tired of people trying to diagnose you. When people have the audacity to tell you how to deal with an illness that most cannot even spell, let alone understand. People do not understand the depth of your pain and loneliness you feel when you are trying to go through. It is hard for people to understand how you can be surrounded by people, yet you feel completely alone. When you have become invisible. When you want to cry but have cried so much all the tears are gone. When you feel like you have given all you had in you to give. There are times when you think that light at the end of the tunnel is coming to take you out. You feel as if you have nothing left to give.
Then something happens. All of a sudden you get a peace all over you. You are starting to feel the weight lightened. You start to get your smile back. This problem, that has caused you so much pain is now about to be your biggest praise. You know that on the other side of this is more than you could even imagine. And you began to hold on a little bit tighter. You start to believe you have already won the battle so now you can get your shout on. When you realize you were not existing, God was carrying you. He was taking care of you in your most fragile state. He is keeping you close to Him. You understand that when you were taught no weapon formed against you will prosper; it did not mean you would not be attacked, but merely it would not be successful. You realize that you cannot have a faith that you do not exercise. You are finding your message in all the mess around you. You are realizing that you have on the whole armor of God. You are realizing that you are able to withstand these evil days. You are standing. You are giving your testimony in the midst of what is a trying time. You understand that your story is to be told. You know it could have and would have been a different way, but for the grace, mercy, the unmerited favor of God. You are appreciating the value in the valley. You realize your strength is in knowing who is keeping you. Knowing it is not always about you. Your story can help someone in the midst of a storm. It hits different, because you have been through some things so you KNOW the wonder of God. The blessing is realizing what was your devastation was not your destruction. All that time you held on, you are breaking through where others knew you were just going to break down.
I know life is not all rainbows and unicorns. I will never be so careless as to give that impression. I want you to know that there will be hard times. However, God can make a way out of no way. I want to be as transparent as I can. I know God has something for me to do because the devil is coming at me too hard. I know God cannot use a punk solider. I know I am not in this alone. I know that my God will deliver me. Just has He has done so many, many, many times before. I am mindful that by all intents and purposes I am not supposed to be here. God continues to show me His hand all over my life. I do not have to go back to when I first got sick, I can stop in 2015, when I had my accident (my unfortunate situation), to see His guidance. See, I was on the way home from family day with my aunt and cousin, when I was t-boned by another vehicle. He hit me so hard he pushed me into another car. So I had impact on both sides. The kicker is the young man that hit me got out of the vehicle and ran away, at true hit and run. But let me tell you about MY GOD. My resumes flew out of the window. A witness tried to call the number at the top and my cell phone rang. I do not lock my phone so she got my phone and called my mother. I had a neck broken in two places, eleven ribs, fractured my pelvis, ruptured my spleen, dislocated my hips, and I was hemorrhaging. I was too busing being mad to realize the severity of the situation. Even though I told them exactly who I was, I was still treated as a Jane Doe. My family never would have known anything. You cannot tell me God was not keeping me. I did not die from impact. I was not paralyzed. I do not have brain damage. My friend, Talisha said it was like God was just walking me through life. I may have a moment but I have come leaps and bounds from where I was. I had a halo for a day and a half that I was supposed to have for a month and half at least; but like my cousin Kim said…just God. They asked for my blood to test because I did not have an aneurysm and die after surviving initially. Point Blank – I could have been dead on the side of the road by myself. You cannot tell me my God is not still working miracles. If you need proof – just look at me. No matter what may be attacking you, put on your armor. We are a war, and all enemies are not visible to the naked eye. The great Walter Hawkins wrote, this battle cannot be won with bullets and with guns. We are not facing flesh and blood enemies. Guard your spirit Guard your peace. Guard your faith. Total Peace comes from total surrender. Give it all to God and leave it there. Remember, you are not immune from the rough waves of life. The blessing is God promised to never leave you and He will keep you. I am not telling you what I read, I am telling you what I know.
Change will happen it is progress that is optional…It does one no good to be opposed to change as change is a constant, however, how does one grow and move forward? One should never want to be in the same “state” at all times….I know for the past few monthss I have been overwhelmed but it is what it is. I am being moved forward and I accept that…The one thing that bothered me was physically I could not find the energy to write…That time is coming as some things have been placed on my mind and my heart…So while things around you are changing how are you progressing? How are you being different today? How are you manifesting your destiny? Have you learned the difference between your destiny and your identity? How are you being the difference you want to see? What are you doing to make people leave you better than they came? It is not enough to be content…Be GREAT good people!!!!
Update: I’ll be writing (well posting) tomorrow…
When you enter a room, your essence alone commands attention.
Your life leads others to your great work and admiration.
When the church was not quite up to par,
You had the beatification committee step in like a league of superstars.
You always treated me as one as your own,
Letting me know I was not in this thing called life alone.
You were always around showing me love,
Always there when I needed a hug.
You were my own touch of amazing, I would look forward to your weekly touch,
When you would touch my left shoulder entering service, it meant so much.
It was our way of bonding and you encouraging me.
While I lost my grandmother at a young age, you were right there never missing a beat.
I love our inside moments as well as our personal jokes we share,
No matter what was going on we would always share a laugh.
A woman of God, you were the quintessential,
A woman of faith the epitome for us to look up to.
You encouraged me to stand up for myself,
Letting me know offen times I’d stand alone by myself.
You have impacted so many people and touched so many hearts.
Helping those in need always doing your part.
You are always vibrant and full of joy and life,
To have you in my life was a gift from God above.
You would never hesitate to do for others,
To so many of us you were a second mother.
When it comes to a woman with grace, beauty, and elegance.
No one could compare to Mrs. Bernice Miller’s spirit and eloquence.
Written by: Jacquelyn L. Alexander
I still miss you touching my shoulder.
Do you really walk by faith, or is that just something good to say every once and a while? It really is not any good unless it has been tested…I can say I have faith all day long, but in the midst of what comes my way what do I do? These past few weeks the devil has been coming for me – attacking my body, my friends and just plain being who he is…But my God said he would never leave nor forsake me, and standing firm on that belief is what gives me the authority to tell the devil be gone you have no power here. While we may go through things it is faith that allows us to know that it will be alright…Life is not going to be easy, and when you commit to God that is when the devil comes for you…In the words of the great hymn- on Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand!!!!! Put your faith the Him that NEVER loses, and will NEVER leave you (this is the short version) Be great!!!
Oftentimes as we go through this thing called life we have trials and tribulations. It is at the beginning when everyone is there, whether to just see or to show concern. When you lose a loved one people bombard you with food the first week, but what happens after that? In my case, when you have an accident, people come to the hospital but months later no one asks how you are holding up.Is your spirit ok? Do you need to talk? You become forgotten. As we look at the tree of life, those who are there in the beginning are leaves. When reality hits, or they have seen what they wanted to see, they fly away. Just like leaves on a tree when the season changes. But there are always those faithful few people who are concerned about your best interests and remain steadfast. They are the branches. They are secured to you, and you grow together. I am blessed to have some wonderful branches in my life and to the leaves, I thank you for being you as well. As everything in life should be a learning moment. Be great good people!!!
Jacquelyn’s Wednesday Cogitation….Be who you are…Life is less stressful and more fulfilling when you are who you are called to be…What does it profit anyone for you to adjust who you are for their benefit? The world needs the full version of you…It makes no sense to put on a front, because at the end of the day someone knows you – tell your story before someone else gets the chance to exaggerate it…You are uniquely and wonderfully made, why would you want to be anyone other than yourself?!? God has something for everyone to do, walk in your gift…I have been able to do and overcome several things in life, but when I started doing what God had for me to do, I got an overwhelming peace of mind. God knew who you were even in the womb…You have been given at least one talent or gift – USE IT!!!! At the end of the day stop putting on a show for people because at some point every show must come to an end, and you will be left to answer – WHO ARE YOU?!?!!? BE GREAT the Jackie loves you!!!
Jacquelyn’s Afternoon Cogitation….Oftentimes as we go through this thing called life we tend to believe that we are all alone. Nothing could be further from the truth. It is during those moments where we are being tossed and turned feeling like we cannot go on; more than ever we are the object of God’s concern. You have to hang in there, put on the whole armor of God so that you may be able to stand against what is being thrown at you. See if is when you feel like you do not know if it is a light at the end of the tunnel or a train coming to run you over, that you need to realize God is right there. He is making you ready for the next matter you have before you. See we ask God for things and some times do not understand we have to be made ready, and question the process. You do not get to ask God to enlarge your territory and then get cold feet when the going gets a little rough. Everyone has a path that has been set before you, you must complete your journey. Your testimony is to be told, and you cannot tell that which you do not know. Hang in there, and in the words of John Prince Kee, reach up and tie a new knot and be encouraged. Be great!!!!! Jax out.
I choose pain… and guess what I’m going to make it!!! Sometimes God has to remind us who is truly in control. To remind us He is still working miracles. To etch in our minds He has the final say. I can honestly say these last four years have been beyond rough. To quote the great Langston Hughes, life for me ain’t been no crystal stair. But I’ve had my faith and a support system beyond amazing. If you look up the definition of miracle, you’ll probably see me smiling. I know the same God that said peace be still and it was has me. Yesterday, I was tested. I went to see my neurosurgeon. He decided we’d try another test because the way the MRI and ct scan looked it appears my spinal cord is either tethering or buckling. The test will let us know for sure. This will be my third attempt with the test. I asked what’s the next step. He calmly said: surgery, but it is highly risky and you could end up paralyzed or stop breathing. I never heard death just slid into a discussion like that. I was feeling a way, I’m not going to lie. Then I decided I don’t care what the tests say, I don’t care how bad my nerve pain may be; I purposely choose pain. I’m going to make it. I’ve got to make it. If it costs my life I’ve got to make it. I’ll be damned if the young man who caused this goes about living his life while I’m still in some way fighting for mine. My comfort is in knowing if He did it before, He can do it again; same God right now, same God back then.” I’m grateful because every single time the enemy tried to take me out, God said not so soon. Through my trials and tribulations, if I’m going to make it I have to stay strong. Sooooooo by His stripes… you know the rest.
When I was in my church’s youth ministry I had the pleasure of forming different and unique relationships with all my “church babies”. However, T’Keyah was truly an individual. I got to take her prom pictures and our bond grew. When I came back to Alabama, I was looking for a job after I passed the bar. I was getting frustrated and her mom (Chef Ann) said she’d do my hair to make sure I was ready for my interviews. Some kind of way Keyah took over. We’d talk about goals and I told her, her hands were anointed. I didn’t realize then how that was going to manifest exponentially. She is a genuine sweetheart, even when she tries to fuss at me.
In addition to being a young wife and mother, she decided to open Kakes by Keysh,LLC. We talked when she checked on me and I mentioned again about her hands. She was doing cake slices and then branched out into greatness. She came through with a Missy Elliot cake for my cousin that was not only absolutely amazing to look at, but was decadent as well. She is going to continue to do great things. I’m a firm believer when you operate your gift God opens doors. She is a reminder to me to keep pushing, and don’t stop writing. To stand strong and step out in faith. I’m sooooooo very proud of her. Check her out on the media that is social when you can. Her business page on the book of faces is Kakes by Keyah, LLC.
She is going beyond good by being great!!!!
I was feeling a little better and decided to read. Why did I do that? I digress. However, I am just puzzled in my spirit.
1. You CANNOT legislate people into Heaven. That is just not how this works.
2. One needs to be consistent with what one alleges to believe. For example, if one alleges to be Pro Life keep that same energy across the board. That means by theory, you should be against the death penalty because you know, life. You don’t need a gun because you know, life (you could kill someone). There is no need to be able to fill out an advance directive or DNR because you know, life.
3. All the people that default to adoption, should have mandatory adoption and fostering. And should have to meet all the requirements imposed the state when they create the plans to unite families and at their cost.
4. I always thought I was of the mind your business philosophy. However, I realized something. We are all pro choice. Because that’s how we live life, making choices. You decide if you want to be a Christian. It is the only way to salvation. You choose if you want to be a jackass. You choose if you want to think of others in a genuine fashion. You choose whether to be your brother’s keeper. Just like you have to choose to leave the world better than you found it.
5. That thing about a man telling me what I can do with my person vexes me down to my viscera. Until you have a cycle that last months. Until you have the joy of a fibroid. Until you deal with the true essence of being a woman, I tell you what you worry about your prostate and parts I don’t have and I will tend to me. I’m intrigued by people who have lived their lives directing someone on what to do with theirs.
It boggles my mind how people keep defaulting to one of the Big Ten. Let’s look at them because I need you to know more than how not to kill, and steal.
1) No other gods
2) No idols
3) Don’t take God’s name in vain
4) Remember the Sabbath and keep it Holy.
5) Honor your father and mother
6) Don’t kill
7) no adultry (ie no divorces, expect for biblical reasons and multiple remarriages)
8) Don’t steal
9) Don’t lie
10) Don’t be jealous
If you not strong on all ten do us a favor and in the words of Archie Bunker, stifle Edith. Because when Jesus was here he gave a greater command. If you can’t follow that one you have a bigger issue.
Why is my body more regulated than gun rights? #Alabama
Be careful of the titles you give people in your life. Everybody is not always deserving of the role you try to place them in. You being their friend does not make them yours. One is not contingent on the other. At some point, we must take accountability for what we allow in our space.